Cereal and Milk

Finally! This is a true story, and it literally just happened. My friend who will remain anonymous, let's call him "Tom", received a jacket in the mail from his mother. Yes she is a very nice woman, but that is irrelevant from the story.

His jacket did not come in the normal mail, UPS, DHL or Fedex. It came via a friend who returned from Los Angeles. This jacket was wrapped in brown paper wrapping barely good enough for a Ralphs shopping bag, yet it contained a carefully folded jacket.

The timing could not be better, because today was a very cold day, and unfortunately only a taste of what is to come. As my friend sat with us around the table drinking, he opened the package and said that there was something else in the package, besides the jacket. What was it?

It was a box of Trix, yes the same Trix that are sugar filled treats for kids every morning from the age of 4 until the end of high school (at least during the normal breakfast hours we used to keep). So what were we to do at a bar with a box of Trix cereal?

I decided that whoever was holding the box would go up to some girls and ask them if they wanted Trix the next morning, sadly there was not one decent looking girl at the bar who was approachable; and not unapproachable in the way that a"hot girl" is unapproachable. It would be an embarrassment to all straight men who gave these women the time of day.

Since the hour is late, and I need to be up soon, I will end with this: use discretion when carrying a cereal box at a bar, because the first girl who comes up to you will not be looking to hook up or even just a free drink, she will be going straight for your TRIX!

Light at the beginning of the tunnel

Waiting for the subway to come can sometimes be as a excruciating as waiting to hear about a job or law school or any school application results, yet it is something people do on a daily basis, usually more than once.

My take for this blog is nothing monumental, critical or merely humorous. It is just a motivation I had while I was riding the subway. As I continued to wait, and the seconds ticked on, I realized that this is not what we should be doing, life is supposed to get easier as we get older - not harder. We have on demand television, facebook, and even bidets (the things that shoot water up your butt).

My time is more valuable than the "affordability" of a subway. Interestingly enough it is how NY moves. There are a million different ways to utilize the subway and when you get there, you get there. I realized that it is impossible to achieve perfect convenience anywhere. There will always be a traffic jam, there will always be a subway delay, but when the light from the train comes slowly rolling towards you, you always sigh that sigh of relief. You realize that you will "get there" even if it took slightly longer than expected.

Proof of this is evident in the most recent Nobel Prize winners for economics. Roger Myerson, along with Leonid Hurwicz and Eric Maskin have spent their lives investigating how "mechanism design theory" works. I will get into that at some time soon I promise.

Basically if you look at mechanism design theory carefully, it can be applied to the pursuit of women by men too, I beg you to read up on it and then let me know that you read it then I can blog my take on it... until then remember to be patient and one day you will turn your shoulder and see the light at the beginning of the tunnel. You are now on your way!

Why are they so funny?

I remember when I was in 7th grade and some 8th graders came in one Thursday morning talking about this "really funny show" they had seen the night before called South Park. There I was, trying to figure out what this show was, I did not know that the show was a cartoon.

I began to pretend to watch the show, ya know, so I could fit in with the 8th graders. Everyone wanted to be an 8th grader when they were in 7th grade. So I would watch the show and it would be over my head to say the least. It was comical to me that Kenny got killed every episode, but that was about it!

Obviously, the older I've gotten, the more I understand. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are brilliant. They are able to weave together ridiculous thoughts that we have all experienced at one point or another and portray it in a way that pokes fun of popular culture.

We have all taken "the biggest crap ever" like in the episode last week. They had this idea and used it to poke fun at Katie Couric, Bono and European awards. The timing is great. In a week when the Noble Prize winners were announced, and Al Gore wins the peace prize for his work on global warming. It is only appropriate to mock European Awards.

People have to consider what is worthy of a prestigious award. It is quite evident that Al Gore is not one of those people, yet he won something . So to, Matt Stone and Trey Parker decided to award someone with a similar award for the same thing - crap!

Oompa Loompas

In the movie adaptation of Rohl Dahl's book, Charlie and Chocolate Factory tiny little people act as the workers who make everything happen in Willy Wonka's factory. These tiny workers are in fact, Oompa Loompas. Whenever one of the children misbehaves and is about to get "killed off" from the fantastic movie, the Oompa Loompas come out of nowhere and start singing and dancing a "moral of the story"-like tune to provide an "educational" experience for the people watching the film. Where do Oompa Loompas really come from and what do they really do?

Rohl Dahl was a brilliant, creative person (despite his hatred of Israel). He knew that it was good to learn something of any value from any experience at all. He figured that if he showed the public his wild imagination by connecting the story with Oompa Loompas; people would benefit from seeing the movie. We must also examine why we saw the movie in the first place.

There are several reasons that you saw this movie, the one answer that is wrong is "I wanted to kill two hours." Possible answers might include: it was too early to go back to a girl or guys house to fool around, you wanted to see Johnny Depp wearing makeup (but we know that is not the case because he is always wearing makeup, and you would rather save $10 and buy a drink at a club), and finally you most probably saw this film because it was recommended to you by one of your parents because they saw it when they were younger.

Unfortunately, that is the reason most people will answer why they saw the movie. Maybe not as the sole purpose, but a parent was a factor.

Oompa Loompas teach the lesson that is obvious: follow instructions. Conventional wisdom would say this is good, yet it is paradoxical to think that Willy Wonka followed instructions from his father the dentist.

It makes me wonder what Rohl Dahl set out to accomplish, nonetheless, it was brilliant.
This brings me to the conclusion of my first blog ever. I will post new blogs a few times a week so please check it frequently.

I have a lot to say, and it's all very entertaining!