The Importance of Support

Due to the recent and untimely death of the young and talented Amy Winehouse, I began to think and analyze the circumstances regarding the singer's demise. When the news scattered the Twitterworld and the all the news outlets picked up on the news of her death, the world reacted with a guarded sadness -- people were not THAT shocked to hear that a Grammy winning twenty-seven year old had been found dead in her London apartment.

Winehouse’ experiences with drugs, alcohol, and the scrutiny of her romantic life have all been overshadowed by her immense talent. Her five Grammy Awards and revitalization of the music industry are proof enough that the singer had a "good life." That was from an outsiders point of view. The "success" that she experienced from a very young age that catapulted her to a level of super-stardom and immortality all came crashing down on Saturday. An autopsy is scheduled for Monday, but no arrests have been made, and the mere speculation that this death is drug related cannot be ignored as the cause of death, then again, we won't know definitively until autopsy results are released.

Drug abuse has become a very real issue that has been publicized, especially in the celebrity world. Throughout the modern "celebrity era" there have been dozens of drug related premature deaths of actors, singers and entertainers. The world has been saddened briefly by these events and then moved on. With the emergence of "Celebrity Rehab" on VH1 and shows that deal with the trafficking and growing use of drugs as innocent as marijuana to severe abuse of doctor prescribed drugs and homemade drugs, a legitimacy has evolved to drug use.

Amy Winehouse had a net worth a tens of millions of dollars, she could have almost anything that she wanted, and yet she is dead at 27 years old. We all know she has battled addiction, something that is clinically a life-long disease that needs to consistently be treated. The singer made people happy with her music, and her life was presumably cut short by a demon that had haunted her for a long time.

Sadness is a universal feeling that all humans are capable of feeling. Many people seek healthy remedies such as therapy, exercises and activities that stimulate the brain to be happier. Unfortunately, there are other people who use drugs to cope with the sometimes harsh realities of life. Friends and family are the best support for anyone dealing with any sort of sadness or feeling of emptiness in one's life; yet sometimes as Coldplay once said "you get what want, but not what you need." This may have been Amy's life.

We don't choose our parents and lives that come with the turmoil or bliss of being born, but we have a choice to face life head on, but it doesn't hurt to have a support group to make the hardest days that much easier.

RIP Amy.

A Woman's Right to Choose Her Food

Literally billions of years of pregnancy have taken place with people eating meat, wheat or chicken, it's yours for the picken"

Emily Deschanel has been a vegan for along time and pregnant for a lot less. She has been able to do what is best for her body, wouldn't you think that she would be doing best her growing fetus' body?

The debate should cease about what is and what isn't good for a fetus. Maternal instincts often speak louder than any other authority figure; and in this situation the mother is always right. Eating as a vegan in a non-vegan society cannot be easy, but is completely doable. There are ongoing counterproductive remarks against people who choose a specific and even more so when someone is carrying a child.

The religious tolerance that this world experiences borders on the intolerance of certain people's dietary restrictions and beliefs. People who come up to me and are shocked that I am unable to tolerate certain foods look at me like a I some type of leper. I have not only done nothing wrong, but I have embraced a lifestyle that leaves me more comfortable. So the next time you want to make a pregnant woman uncomfortable, remember that she is probably carrying a baby that is making her uncomfortable enough.

Eat up, drink up, and enjoy life.... Just let people do it in the way that I want. (disclaimer: when I say "drink up" I do not mean in any way shape or form drinking alcohol during pregnancy.

Modern Orthodox: not my M.O

Many people will not like what I have to say. Good.

Tonight I went to a "Modern Orthodox" Synagogue to commemorate the third anniversary of my father's passing. The Hebrew term for this is "Yartzheit." I toiled with the idea of going to a place of worship, because quite honestly I don't buy it. I asked some of my closest friends what I should do, and the consensus was to go. I tried going to a synagogue that was not immersed in the community that I was raised in, but the weekday nightly prayers are scarce in Los Angeles.

I ended up going with my oldest sister and mother to the place I spent countless hours on Saturdays during my formative years. As a child, I had no say in the matter, the same way I ate when I was told, and not when I wanted to eat. As an adolescent, my "choices" were pushed, and I accepted it... and then I grew up. There was no quantifiable difference in me spiritually throughout the years, I merely became the person I wanted to be. Not a person who prays, not someone who observes Orthodox Judaism, I am a Jewish person, period. Label me how you want.

As I entered the sanctuary (they really need to change the name of this room) of Beth Jacob in Beverly Hills, I saw someone from my formative years who I did not care to see. I didn't run away, I faked a smile and said "Hi, it's so great to see you!" Those words that came out of my mouth in my head were actually "I have to see this fucking tool?" I walked in to see some familiar faces, none of which I was excited to see. I semi-cordially had a Lakers discussion with a 75 year-old accountant who I've seen age as he's seen me grow up - wonderful.

I sat in the back, zoning out all the bullshit that was being recited by the cantor. In between the afternoon prayer "Mincha" and the evening prayer "Ma'ariv" some guy from Yeshiva University, who is paid to study Talmud all day for the summer gave a speech about the concept of a Kohen -- the most sanctified tribe member, for lack of a better term -- killing someone and his repercussions. The answer to his remedial question is : who the hell cares? He rambled on for about five minutes aimlessly, and suddenly, out of nowhere someone in the audience abruptly cut him off and left the speaker humiliated and speechless. In Judaism, the action of embarrassing someone is compared to killing that person. The fact is, that no matter how terrible this speech was, it was 100% wrong of this low-life to cut off the speaker for no reason at all.

The thesis of the speech was completely out of context and relevance to anything today or even in the last 100 years. The irrelevance factor annoyed me, even pissed me off a little bit -- I was somewhere that I did not want to be hearing about bullshit that will NEVER apply to anyone in the audience. IF anyone ever kills someone, the justice system will run its course, for better or worse. The insensitivity of this person cutting off another idiot clearly didn't solve anything. It did not help ease my discomfort of being somewhere that I totally did not want to be, I should have been wearing one of those t shirts that say "I'd rather be skiing." As a person who chooses not to take part in these rituals, and paying my respect to my dead father by saying meaningless words on a specific day on the Jewish calendar, I was completely offended and mortified that this is what a Modern Orthodox synagogue was offering. I knew better growing up, I saw it coming, and I even saw some of the brainwashing that took place to some of my peers to become these black an white people who are obsessed with anything Judaism related. To me, it's the same as someone who gets into drugs, alcohol or any other addiction that makes people go crazy.

This is a synagogue that is not foreign to scandals. Please ask me about the scandals if you are so interested, I promise they are juicy. Disrespecting people by offending them publicly is wrong. I had to witness it, which completely devalued any attempt I had at getting any meaning from the service tonight. Thanks Beth Jacob.

I'm writing this blog to inform, not to get people to stop going or go elsewhere. There is just too much bullshit out there to worry about the bullshit religion that labels itself in ways that are just silly. I respect people, and listening to this bullshit that was then cut off rather maliciously, completely undermined my feelings of celebrating the beautiful but short life of my father who accepted me for who I am, the same way he accepted everyone else with all f their baggage.

I started this blog by saying that many people will be unhappy with what I have to say, synagogues don't have that disclaimer before you enter; maybe they should.